I was stuck at school until 4:30 trying to get a replacement assignment for biology (due tomorrow). I had to walk to Karrinyup and then get a bus home, in the 'pre-dusk' with a really heavy bag and shit-

But then an angel descended. XD Cassie saw me walking on her way to Karrinyup and offered me a lift to Stirling.

And then I got home and Mum started yelling at me. But hey, you can't win 'em all.

It's my g'mas birthday tomorrow. Of course I wont be there, but I can call, and my cousin Nick's put together a fantastic photo album that everyone's contributed to.

I miss my family. -sigh-

( Hahaha... This is funny in that sad kind of way... )

I have a thought I'd like to share with you guys. XD


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Think on it. Post it in your journal if you agree. And thanks to my Aunty Wiz for that little gem. XD

144 days or
3,456 hours or
207,360 minutes or
12,441,600 seconds...

This time last year I thought that I'd be sad about the end of school fast approaching. I thought I'd be worried that our group wouldn't keep in contact after school. I thought I'd miss SMAGS.

God, don't things change.

...

...

Напиши еще?

... I need sleep and water... G'bye.

Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident


There's nothing I could say
To make you try to feel ok
And nothing you could do
To stop me feeling the way I do
And if the chance should happen
That I never see you again
Just remember that I'll always love you

I'd be a better person
On the other side I'm sure
You'd find a way to help yourself
And find another door
To shrug off minor incidents
And make us both feel proud
I just wish I could be there
To see you through

You always were the one
To make us stand out in a crowd
Though every once upon a while
Your head was in the cloud
There's nothing you could never do
To ever let me down
And remember that I'll always love you

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.



The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

( I got bored so I did a multitude of quizzes... )


Ok, that's enough. Stuff waiting for people, I"m going to bed. XD G'night all.

( Sexuality Quizzes based on Kinsey's theories )

Ugh. I hate biology. Stupid experiments. Stupid liver. Stupid Hydrogen Phosphate. Dad helped me out, the only reason I had the slightest chance of doing it.

I love having an (ex) microbiologist as a Father. XD



Caitlyn, how did you do with it?

Hahaha, so i got sent to the physio this morning by Ms Clarko and Mrs Hearn. I tore two of the ligaments in my foot/ankle, and ripped the fleshy capsule over those that's supposed to protect the joint. I'm supposed to walk on it. So I'm walking. But Christ, it hurts. Sympathy for the poor? -sniffle-

Hope you guys had a good day at school! And at the filming thing. I'll be going to the one tomorrow.

Caitlin/Ez, can you give me maths details? And Mitch, English details? And... erm... those are the only classes I have with people. Thanks. XD

I know this is exceptionally late notice, but my Mother will most likely have our car tomorrow and the day after and she's working at the women's shelter so I will not be able to be driven home all the way tomorrow, or Wednesday after school. What I'm asking is will someone please please please ask their parents if they can drop me off at a train station? I will catch a train and be picked up the other end, there will be no walking or anything for me, so they don't have to feel obliged to take me all the way home... Even just dropping me off at a bus stop or Karrinjup would be absolutely fantastic. The fact is, unless my Dad convinces my Mother that he can pick her up and drop her off at the shelter and take me to and from school as well, then I wont be able to go to these filming sessions.


CJ: Can you please tell me exactly what is entailed in these two days/afternoons? Whether I have to go to both or whether either is fine, or if either is essential?

I have newfound sympathy for you, Caitlin. o.O

I tried to go to the toilet earlier. Not only was it difficult, painful, and arduous (do you have any idea how hard it is to put pants on one-footed? And keep your balance? And not touch the toilet??) but the lights were all off, and I didn't realise that the bathroom door was shut, so I swung into it at full pace, smacked face-first into it, fell backwards, and landed on my ankle. Can you say ouch? I can. Although it sounds muffled cause of my blood nose. Ick.

Ok, I'm going to stop posting now. o.x

( This is SCARY-TRUE )

My stats...
Darklight games: 5
Darklight memberships: 1. (-huggles friend-)
Darklight handicap: 0.759859 (Ahahahahaa!!!)
Number of people that call me a boy just after I shot their ass: 4. -growls-
Crazy crabs: 4
Job interviews: 1
Jobs: 1
Internet time: ~ 19 hours. (^^)"
Homework time: Far from enough.


So yeah. XD I had fun this weekend. Me and Ash went to darklight. A lot. I kicked his ass. He bought me a membership for my birthday. In advance. I kicked his ass again. Then I cleaned out my fishtank and set it up for crazy crabs. Then went out and bought said crazy crabs. Then went for my job interview. Then played more darklight, and kicked Ashley's ass again.

I'm now working at KFC. Kind of. I have a second interview where my manager's going to show me around the store, then I have an induction, then I start work. People keep making jokes and telling me that my hair's going to clash with my uniform. XD

I got cornered in Darklight by people who were upset at me sniping them from the top balcony/corridor thing. Seven of them, from a birthday party, snuck up on me, from both sides, killed me, wouldn't let me out. When my pack came back on line, I got all seven of them before they had a chance to shoot me. Damn I'm good. XD

In the dark people kept yelling "Damn, that Cordy guy shot me again!" Even after they'd seen me. I felt like thwapping them over the head with my gun.

I got Crazy crabs!! Four of them, two I got myself, and two Ash got me cause he lost his bet and I kicked his ass. XD I decided to go with a theme. So, they're called: Lancelot, Galahad, Bedevere, and The Black Knight. XD Brownie-points to anyone who can name my source. XD

Anyway. I'm far too hyper to be writing in my livejournal in anyway way except hopeless 'squeeing'. So. Goodnight all! Metanoia's updated, I'm going to go and read it. -grin-


Ooh: the Book.

Ash: I would do the gentlemanly thing and wish you luck, but there's a crazy crab at stake!

Ash: I'm the only man alive who can multitask: I can talk and walk at the same time. -trips-

Ash: What are Crazy Crabs? Crustacia in straightjackets??

There was something else. I can't remember it. Damn it.

( I found a new LJ quiz site!! )

I love this reporter.

( Read my favourite article this week. )

So. School has started, and I'm all NYAH and ARGH but generally coping very well. XD I've already managed to have a teacher tell me off for not having a hat, incorrect uniform, wearing jewellery that I shouldn't, not having homework, talking during class, and 'insubordination'.

And I've only been back for 6 days. Amazing, isn't it?

I'm just talented. -dramatic pose-





And, as anyone might be able to tell, I'm feeling better. Like... mentally. Which can only be a good thing? Oh! And I have my PC back!! Weee!! It's all shiny and new and stuff. -grin-

Today: I need to do my maths homework, and scan in the comic I made for Metanoia's Annual Valentine's Day Competition. I don't think I'll win, but hey, I think my entry's cute. And I wanna show Jesse that I think the comic's cool? Maybe even ellicit a giggle. Not that I'm hoping. Anyway.

Oh, I had a freaky dream last night. So I wrote ( a poem about it! )

I found this absolutely hilarious list of things this guy was told he wasn't allowed to do while he was in the army, presumably because he tried to do it.

I picked out a few good'uns, but check out the full list Here.


2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".
7. I am not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
10. I am not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
31. I am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. I am not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. I am not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) I'm not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
39. I am not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
49. I am not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.
50. I am not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
127. “No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages” does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is “Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir” not “You can't prove a thing!”

Ok, I think that's enough. Go and check it out yourselves!!

I love my new icon. And I love random sites that have userimage cartoons for you to snatch. XD

Heya guys! I tried to call all of you today, but you weren't in or... something, cause no one picked up 'part from Ez and M. M's conversation was rather amusing. ("Jacques Chirac! Jacques Chirac!") I'm so happy with all the presents I got this year. Books, books, and more books. Squee!! And... OMG -drools- This really fantastic ( ... To hear all about... well, everything, click here. LJ Cutted for the sake of your friends pages. )

Anyway. I'm stopping myself here, 'else I'll ramble on forever and bore you to death. XD Love and kisses to you all! All the people that I didn't get to see these holidays, I'm going to miss you heaps. Everyone else, I'll miss you to. Everyone I didn't manage to get a hold of today, Merry Christmas and I love you. And all of the people(s) that haven't called me back when I asked them to, and who I consequently wont be able to talk to for another month... you suck, I hate you, I'm never talking to you again because youobviouslydon'twanttobemyfriendandyoudon'tloveme!!! -runs off crying-

Have a good holiday, Guys. :-)